I cannot emphasize the importance of self control enough. For those of you who have it, Good For You!!, I mean it. I certainly don’t have it and oh how much easier life would have been if I had. There is a bar, in Austin, that I is known for cocaine sales and I loved that place! I could walk in any day of the week and there would be at least two people selling cocaine and I couldn’t get enough!!! I pretty much spent most of 2016 getting fucked up in this bar, with a bunch of really awesome people that also frequented the bar for drugs.
I absolutely adore my drug addicted friends! There is a special place in my heart for them. When I was in rehab there was a Fransician Nun, who worked there. She was a recovering addict, as well, but she had about thirty years of sobriety. She used to always say that “drugs only take the most kind hearted people and turn them into assholes”. I believe she’s right about that. Every addict has a story and it’s never a very happy one. Maybe I’ll write a book someday about what my life was like from 1993-2015 and you’ll have a better understanding of how I ended up where I did. .
I became addicted to cocaine in 2016 at the age of 35. I was really getting out of control. I got fired from two jobs that year! I didn’t realize how much the cocaine was affecting my life, because I wasn’t using that much, but I was using enough to keep me up all night and I would often fall asleep at work. Back then I would buy “twenty bags'' of cocaine. A twenty bag is .2 of a gram and it costs twenty dollars. Twenty bags are by far the least economical way to purchase cocaine. I wouldn’t recommend anyone buy that way, but that is the way that most people purchase it. I suppose it is the way people that actually do have some self control use it. The moment you start talking about buying by the gram, or an eighth, or a quarter ounce you should know that you have a serious problem. What I can share with are signs that you should know you are becoming addicted/or already are addicted to drugs or alcohol:
If you start drinking and drugging alone.
When you prefer drinking and drugging away from your friends, because you don’t want to share. The only way you’re hanging out with anyone is if they’ve got their own stash.
You start missing work and not caring about the quality of your work.
You start using or drinking at work. That’s a big one!
You really know you’ve got a problem when you start pawning your shit just to make it through the day.
You start neglecting your family, friends, children and animals.
You turn into a complete asshole.
You start stealing valuables and money from your friends and family, to pawn for drugs.
You feel guilty about none of it. The only thing that matters is getting high.
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